


Forcebound

by Berzerker



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Canon Rewrite, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:34:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27884608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Berzerker/pseuds/Berzerker
Summary: The Sith Warrior meets Jaesa Willsaam.
Relationships: Female Sith Warrior & Jaesa Willsaam
Kudos: 5





	1. On the Hunt

**Author's Note:**

> My personal tribute to light side Jaesa.
> 
> The first chapter is the most loyal to the original script.

_”Sith, I am Jaesa Willsaam.”_

Serenus Rexx regarded the young woman in the holo recording with fascination, carefully dissecting Jaesa’s words in her mind as she took them in. She had already formulated some scenarios about how to proceed when she’d finally get to meet the illustrious Padawan, and she was pleased as the recording only strengthened her resolve.

“Wow, gotta give it to her – she sure got guts”, Vette mused.

Despite herself Serenus grinned a little. “She certainly does.” It certainly didn’t hurt that Jaesa turned out to be easy on the eyes as well, but that was beside the point. It was time to make some plans.

Quinn and Vette continued the discussion about Jaesa’s motives to meet on her ship, but Serenus had already made her mind; trap or not, she couldn’t afford to miss this chance. The Padawan might still be young and inexperienced, but the recording was enough to convince the Sith that the girl was no fool at least. She had already come to the same conclusion as Serenus; that the apprentices were merely pawns in their masters’ games.

The Padawan had a powerful aura about her that was apparent even through the recording, and she had already conquered some interesting challenges. But there was also undeniable softness, and a dash of concealed insecurity. The Sith could only hope there was also a layer of steel somewhere beneath there – the road ahead would be filled with darkness.

* * *

Serenus wasn’t all that surprised when she and Quinn confronted two Jedis instead of Jaesa after boarding the ship. Her suspicions proved to be correct as the other Jedi admitted that Nomen Karr had talked Jaesa out of meeting with the Sith. It didn’t bother Serenus in the least. She knew she’d meet the Padawan sooner or later now that she knew for sure they had mutual interest to make that happen.

The older Jedi seemed more reasonable than the other. Serenus wasn’t in the mood to fight, so she tried one more time to dissuade the younger Jedi from fighting as well.

“I have no quarrel with you. Let’s just go our separate ways.”

Serenus could feel Quinn growing impatient beside her. The Jedi men debated attacking the Sith, but Serenus knew the look in the younger one’s eyes. He was out for blood. She wasn’t worried though. He would be no match for her.

After disabling the Jedi and sending him away with his head still attached between his shoulders Serenus sighed tiredly. So rash and hungry for power. It would have been easy to turn the Jedi to the dark side. She wondered briefly if she did a disservice by letting him live. Quinn wouldn’t have been so suspicious of her motives either. But how could she tell him?

“Let’s get out of here.”

* * *

“So. A duel with Nomen Karr, huh? Except that he’s expecting that creep Baras to show up.” There was a non-apologetic look on Vette’s face. “Oh my, did I say creep? I meant it, actually.”

Serenus smirked a little. She was in Vette’s cabin, leaning against the entrance with her arms crossed.

“That’s right. And if it’s alright, I’d like you to come with me.”

Vette looked a bit surprised.

“Me? I thought you’d take Quinn with you.”

“Why so? You know I value your input and fighting skills.”

The Twi’Lek shrugged. “I guess I just thought this was important Sith business.”

Serenus bit her lip. “I think coming with me will answer quite a few questions.”

Vette looked at the Sith curiously.

“Sure. Count me in.”

* * *

As expected, Karr was extremely disappointed that the Sith Warrior arrived to face him instead of Darth Baras.

“I haven’t come to kill you”, Serenus assured him, but anything she said was immediately deflected by the old Jedi.

“No. I’m sure you’re here to play Pazaak”, he spat.

Serenus had to admit that Karr was a formidable opponent. Even in the heat of the duel she could sense something conflicting in him though, whereas she fought with complete peace of mind, as if it was as natural for her as breathing.

She thought she had already quelled Nomen Karr’s fighting spirit as the man was collecting himself from the floor, lightsaber out of reach, but suddenly she could feel something very familiar brewing in the air around them.

“The Force is… very strong with you… I must dig… deeper…”

Briefly there was a red aura around him. His eyes started to glow ominously and thin black veins started to cover his face.

“Not that I know much about Jedi Masters, but is that, like, normal”, Vette asked the Sith Warrior.

“Nope. It’s not”, Serenus confirmed and faced the twisted Jedi again. “Stand down Karr, no one has to die.”

“Never!”

He attacked again. Serenus remained calm and collected, but she couldn’t help grimacing a bit as she pushed a particularly heavy swing back, away from her throat. Karr’s attacks were like he was swinging a sledgehammer instead of a lightsaber now, but the strong attacks were also sloppy, and soon the Sith Warrior had gained the upper hand, disarming the Jedi once again.

At this point Imperial troops arrived on the scene as well, their weapons trained at Nomen Karr.

“I take it you didn’t expect this”, Vette said quietly to Serenus.

“I didn’t, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, since Baras has been so obsessed with this Jedi. This is going to complicate what I had in mind. And there’s still no sign of his Padawan.”

The Imperial soldiers fussed around the Jedi. First they made sure he was incapacitated, then they started dragging him to a nearby room to make sure he would survive his wounds since Baras wanted him alive.

Serenus and Vette followed the soldiers. Karr was tied and appeared to be fine apart from babbling to himself about Imperial spies, his revenge and the inevitable downfall of Darth Baras.

Vette glanced at the Sith Warrior.

“Exactly what _do_ you have in mind”, she asked Serenus in a low voice just before one more soldier barged inside the room.

“It’s the Padawan. She is here.”

“About time. Bring her here; everyone else, clear out.”

“I will absolutely not leave you alone with two Jedi”, the Sith Captain said decisively.

Serenus didn’t have time for this. She briefly pondered between Force Persuasion and Force Choke but decided that a brutal show of power would be the more effective choice and left less questions. With a quick thrust of her arm she lifted the surprised Captain off his feet, gripping his throat menacingly.

“I am Serenus Rexx, the apprentice chosen by Darth Baras himself and I will not be insulted by an insinuation of not being able to handle an incapacitated old man and some young girl who doesn’t have enough sense of self-preservation to not come here without an army.”

She released her grip and let the Captain fall back on his feet, gasping for air.

“Besides, I’ve got my bodyguard with me”, she added as if nothing had happened, pointing her thumb over her shoulder at Vette’s general direction, somewhere behind her. She heard the Twi’lek snort.

“I see. I’ll be going then”, the Captain croaked.

Just as the Captain and the last of his men left the room, Serenus felt the presence of another Force user. It felt almost absurd, after all this hunting, to see Jaesa Willsaam walk into the room voluntarily.

Serenus was pleased to see the Padawan looked calm and confident enough despite the situation she was in, but she could sense traces of anxiety deep within. In this moment it was something she could use though.

“Sith. I have come. It seems I was expected – your men outside let me pass. Release Master Karr. Your efforts to draw me out have been a success.”

Serenus and Jaesa looked each other in the eye. It was strange, the Sith Warrior thought, for she could feel a curious, almost unnoticeable tingling through the Force now that the Padawan was present. Maybe she was just as powerful as Darth Baras had feared, and some of that power merely seeped through. Just as the Sith Warrior was about to speak, Karr continued with his incoherent monologue, newfound vigor – and anger - in his demeanor.

“Jaesa, no! I told you to stay put! How dare you defy me? My sacrifice - for nothing! Stupid child… For all your power, you have understood nothing!”

Jaesa was visibly shaken by Karr’s harsh words and Serenus felt almost bad for the girl. After all, during her hunt for the Padawan she had learnt a great deal about her and the people close to her. It was a surreal feeling meeting Jaesa herself finally, after months dedicated to trying to learn everything about her and toying with the fates of her loved ones during the process. Suddenly she was a real person with real feelings and hopes, not just a mythical specialty tool to be acquired from the Force workshop. Even if Serenus did, of course, know all this intellectually, it was still an eye-opener seeing the young Jedi in the flesh.

“What have you done to him, Sith! Has this been inside of him all along? No, it can’t be. No one can hide such darkness. Somehow you turned him mad!”

“Look into your Master’s heart and see the truth”, Serenus offered.

Jaesa was hesitant at first but did as the Sith suggested.

“I… I sense pride and… envy and hate… and vengeance? No! What Sith trick is this? I would have known if such darkness resided within him!”

“That is what the Jedi do. They mask and pretend and hide.”

“I thought I’d found something I can count on. The Jedi are… pure. You’re supposed to know where you stand with them, right?”

“Jaesa, it’s all a trick. Turn your power on the Sith and you’ll see!”

“Look at me as long as you like, I have nothing to hide”, Serenus said without hesitation.

“Very well then.”

“I see mercy… and fairness… and even perhaps compassion. You have walked the light path. Sparing Master Yonlach and my parents are true reflections of you, but it is said that Sith embody darkness. How is this possible?”

“Let it be a lesson – you must never presume anything.”

“Don’t listen, Jaesa! It’s all a trick. The Sith has disguised herself and me to cause you to doubt your power!”

“I - I don’t know what to believe. You told me there was order to the galaxy – that you would show me the truth! But nothing is true! Both of you are trying to drive me insane!”

“It’s Darth Baras! He is manipulating us all. Kill the Sith! Kill Baras’s liar and you’ll see!”

Serenus sighed. She was getting tired of the old, crazed Jedi Master’s constant interruptions.

“The truth is plainly before you. I walk in the light”, she assured Jaesa in an even voice. This was the first time ever she had said it out aloud. It felt liberating. She was glad Vette was here with her to share this moment and suspected the Twi’lek wasn’t too surprised to hear this confession. It still felt good.

Jaesa, on the other hand, was struggling with all the new turns the conversations with Serenus and Karr had taken, and the Sith didn’t blame her for that. She would have been stupid to accept her world turning upside down just like that.

“Shut up! I can’t trust you! I can’t trust anything! Defend yourself, Sith!”

Jaesa was skilled, there was no doubt about that. Even in her emotional state she avoided many of the mistakes her Master, Karr, had made earlier, and it impressed the Sith. Her movements were agile and constantly adapting, and she controlled the strength she put behind her swings, not using it excessively to tire herself out. The Padawan also observed her keenly trying to learn weaknesses and patterns as they danced with their sabers, gracefully avoiding the Sith’s weapon while doing that.

Serenus quite enjoyed their duel, but she knew she had the upper hand all along. After she had had enough of a preview of Jaesa’s skills she decided to put her in her place. Jaesa’s eyes widened as Serenus disarmed her in a few swings, making her drop her weapon, red beam of a lightsaber suddenly an inch from her head. Serenus had often used her opponents’ preconceptions of her against them – her large frame and bulky body could be surprisingly swift and dexterous. The Sith didn’t feel the need to intimidate the girl any more than necessary and almost immediately withdrew her blade, switching it off and clipping it back on her belt.

Jaesa’s fighting spirit was gone. She relaxed a little as she realized the Sith was no active threat to her and drew a deep, shuddering breath.

“I am… no match. You had the opening you needed to kill me and yet… you held back. Your actions reflect light. You appear to be an agent of the dark side, but… it’s a mask.” Jaesa glanced away. “But Master Karr also wears a mask. And his deception is a much uglier one.”

“It’s not his fault. His connection to the Force is flawed.”

Jaesa seemed to consider this.

“All my life I have put up with deceit and denial. I thought the Jedi would be different. You’ve shown me otherwise. You’ve exposed Master Karr for what he is. It’s your power that reveals a person’s true nature. Your conviction and purity bring a reckoning that can’t be denied. I want that.”

“Join me, and from within the Sith Empire, we can forge a lasting peace.”

Serenus and Jaesa looked each other in the eye. The Sith felt that strange tingling on her skin again, and she was quite sure the Padawan experienced the same, judging by her body language.

“Yes… I see the advantage of this. So much more can be achieved from within. At last I feel a sense of purpose. Something I can count on. What do you wish of me? And what shall we do with Master Karr?”

“He has turned away from the Light. He needs guidance to heal and find his way back.”

Now Karr was spouting threats at Jaesa.

“Jaesa, I’ll see to it the Jedi disavow you. You will be labeled an enemy of the order.”

“Then I’ll finally know where I stand with you. You took me as far as you were able.” A pause. “I hope this does not leave you bitter.”

Serenus approached Jaesa, and the Padawan looked a bit surprised but didn’t withdraw when the Sith put her hand lightly on her shoulder.

“I won’t lie, Miss Willsaam; the road ahead will be rough and full of danger, but for what it’s worth, I promise that I’ll set the example myself by devoting my life to this cause. I’d rather die today for peace than live eternally for war, as long as my death would be a meaningful one.”

Jaesa’s forlorn look was slowly replaced by a ghost of a smile, and it was her turn to surprise the Sith by briefly touching the hand on her shoulder with the tips of her fingers.

“You can just call me Jaesa. _Master_.”

“Y-yes. Good. It’s important that we address each other properly in public. And that means even among my crew apart from Vette here, obviously. Now that this is settled, we should get back to the ship. There’s a lot to do.”

Serenus called for the Captain and his men. She knew Darth Baras would be disappointed in her, but it didn’t matter – she ordered that Karr was to be sent to the nearest Republic occupied area so that the Jedi Council would get to decide what to do with him.

As Serenus, Vette and Jaesa were making their way to be picked up by Rexx’s ship, Vette approached the Sith Warrior. Jaesa was following behind them, clearly deep in her own thoughts.

“Hey, uh, I just wanted to say that… I admit that I already thought you were a bit too nice for a Sith, but it’s good to know where you really stand. And while all this sounds scary and out of any reasonable scope… somehow I believe if anyone could pull anything like this off it would be you. I don’t know what you’re planning, exactly, but I’m with you.”

Serenus smiled thinly.

“Thank you, Vette. It really means much to me. The truth is, however, that I was raised a Sith and there was a time I didn’t question what I was taught. You wouldn’t have wanted to know me back then, and I’m glad you didn’t. Now there’s no more doubt; I have accepted the light that was always there. I just wish I didn’t have so many regrets.”

“Oh.” Vette looked like she wasn’t expecting that. “It’s hard to think of you as someone who’d have that many regrets, to be honest.”

Serenus flashed Vette a lopsided grin and put her arm around her shoulder.

“The most important thing is that we’re here now, isn’t it?”

“That’s more like it! Let’s go reform an Empire! Quinn is sooo gonna flip.”


	2. The Apprentice

The following months turned Jaesa’s life upside down in more ways than she could have imagined.

First there was the crew. Soon after she joined they acquired two new crew members; Lieutenant Pierce and Broonmark. Both of them chilled her to the bone for the first weeks, but she did her best to not let it show. She practiced being impassive and laughing it off when they shared stories of glory and Jedi guts. Since she couldn’t really do the foreboding, sinister laughter believably, she hoped an absent and hollow version of it would be the next best thing. Sometimes she pretended she didn’t understand what the Talz was saying. Mostly she just avoided both Pierce and Broonmark altogether. Luckily they didn’t bother her too much either.

Malavai Quinn was more sophisticated and good-mannered than the two, but it was clear that in every action he took his loyalty to the Empire came first. He was sharp and it felt like his eyes could see straight through people. Jaesa felt lucky the man wasn’t Force Sensitive – otherwise she would have been in serious trouble.

She bonded quickly with Vette though; the companionship of the witty, kind and headstrong Twi’lek brought much needed balance to her new life as a citizen of the Empire, surrounded by murderous Sith. Whenever Jaesa was not meditating, training or out on a mission, they would hang out together. Usually they just chatted about everything, but Vette had also taught Jaesa to play a variety of games in which the Sith Apprentice was quickly becoming good at, even if the Twi’lek won most of the rounds.

Then there was Serenus Rexx. Her new Master and a Sith Lord.

The woman was intriguing, she had to admit. Jaesa often wondered what it was exactly that made her Master turn away from the Empire as it was, for she never talked about it; not that Jaesa dared to ask, either. Despite the piercing amber eyes giving away what was generally referred to as “Force Corruption”, marking her as a Sith, Serenus didn’t act like the average Sith Lord.

She was patient, polite and circumspect, and even when she was interacting with other Sith and their allies during missions she rarely showed off her strength nor felt the need to browbeat people. Serenus seemed to project complete piece of mind and self-control regardless of what she was doing. Jaesa had felt this firsthand when they had duelled before she joined her crew. It was as if she had been fighting a Jedi instead of a Sith, and as far as she knew it would have been impossible for Serenus to practice Jedi ways for years, without a Master, all the while living in the middle of Sith society and eventually becoming an apprentice for Darth Baras.

Serenus also had a peculiar sense of humor, and her eyes would light up in a certain way when she was jesting. It was endearing, in a way, Jaesa found herself thinking more often than not. Sometimes she wondered what color her Master’s eyes really were. Maybe green or blue, since she had red hair. Serenus always kept her hair on a neat, simple ponytail. Even though she was quite tall and obviously also physically very strong with her broad shoulders and thick body, she also had feminine roundness to her features that made her look kind and easy to approach. She smiled a lot. It was a strange combination for a Sith Lord, but Jaesa didn’t complain. It was a stark contrast though, this same woman teaching the former Jedi to connect to the dark side of the Force. Jaesa still understood it was a necessity, as she was operating in the heart of the Empire, and Serenus was a good teacher. She had become to trust the Sith unconditionally, and she had a feeling she trusted her back.

Her Master also had an interesting personal quirk Jaesa had noticed.

She liked to eat. A lot.

* * *

Jaesa was lounging at Vette’s cabin after coming back from a mission of her own. She had desperately felt the need to make herself useful in this new life of hers; to find a purpose she could focus on, and by succeeding in it, proving her worth also to her new Sith Master. Now that she had a more comfortable relationship with the other side of the Force, she had decided to start moving more freely among the Sith, making use of her Force Insight as she tracked allies; other light sided Sith. She had somewhat surprised even herself from how far she could detect these traits, but pinning down the exact locations proved a bit more challenging. It also consumed a lot of energy.

“Ugh. I could eat a whole pile of bantha steaks”, Jaesa groaned as she got up from Vette’s bed.

Vette smiled at that as she was browsing the HoloNet.

“It’d be fun to see you try and outeat Seri, but I already know how that’s going to turn out. A pile of bantha steaks is just a basic meal for her.”

Jaesa pondered on that for a moment.

“Now that you mention it, I’ve never seen anyone eat so much. I wonder how she stays in such a good shape considering all that calorie intake.”

“She told me once something happened when she was in her late teens and she started eating and putting on a lot of weight. She said that since she had always been so strongly connected to the Force physical training hadn’t been really necessary – she can move like spacecrafts and shit with just her mind, seen that happen. But then she started powerlifting and exercising, just to manage her weight and here we are. She actually carried that bed you’re sitting on to this cabin by herself”, Vette added.

“Wow”, Jaesa breathed. “Now I have so many questions I don’t even know where to start.”

“Shoot away.”

“Firstly, I’ve never heard her talk about her personal matters with anyone. I mean, I get that you’re friends, but… Why would she tell you all that?”

“She was drunk.”

Jaesa blinked. “Oh.” She considered for a moment. “And why did you need a new bed?”

“She was drunk also before that conversation. I had bruises for weeks.”

Jaesa blushed furiously, hoping her tan would hide it.

“Ah… did you…”

Vette looked confused before she started laughing.

“Haha, what? No! I did not have wild inebriated sex with her! She just literally crashed on my bed while I was still on it.”

“Oh”, was all that Jaesa could comment.

“Apparently she thought this was her room, even if this isn’t crammed up with all her sweaty gym equipment.”

“You have seen her room?”

“You haven’t? There’s not much to see though. Just a bed and lifting racks and whatever.”

“Oh.”

Jaesa suddenly realized she had slipped in her thoughts and that Vette was looking at her with an odd expression on her face.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Vette chuckled and shook her head.

“I didn’t say anything. But now that you ask, what about we go and see what dinner options we have in the mess hall.”

They made their way to the hall and were surprised to see Lord Serenus Rexx had already arrived. With takeout. Takeout for everybody. There were neat piles of boxes on the table.

“Just in time”, said the Sith Lord happily as she noticed the two women. “I just informed Pierce, Quinn and Broonie about our little get-together – they’re still out getting some supplies but will arrive shortly.”

“Oh, this is nice”, commented Vette, looking through the boxes. “Except for this”, she added, withdrawing her hand from a box seeping with purplish, dark liquid.

“Ah, that’s for Broonie. Best leave it untouched.”

“So, what’s the occasion”, Jaesa asked, seating herself opposite to her Master.

“I just thought it’d be nice for a change, and I knew you’d be feeling peckish when you come back.”

Jaesa scrunched her brow.

“Not that I wouldn’t appreciate this immensely because I’m practically starving, Master, but how did you know I was hungry or coming back already?”

Now it was Serenus’ turn to scrunch her brow. “Didn’t you message me?”

Jaesa opened her mouth, but just then Pierce, Quinn and Broonmark entered the ship, loudly debating over the price of this or that piece of equipment and she forgot what she was about say.

When they had all settled around the table, they ate in comfortable silence. Since she was seated opposite to Serenus, it gave Jaesa a good excuse for observing her Master quite openly.

Even if the Sith Lord liked to eat, she wasn’t messy, hasty or loud with her food. Jaesa watched as Serenus delicately chose different food items from her box and chewed on them carefully. Occasionally she’d dip something, delicately rolling the pieces of food in her fingers to make sure that none of the dip would drip and smear anything. She actually knew how to use a napkin and those little cleaning wipes properly, and she seemed to enjoy every bite. She looked so content and pleased that Jaesa could feel it too.

She had forgotten all about her hunger or how she was blatantly staring at her Master, eyes fixed on her mouth and fingers especially, when she suddenly felt strange warmth and realized Serenus was smiling and looking back at her. It was doubly embarrassing as she felt her ears heat, and she hastily returned back to her now lukewarm food hoping to look smooth about it. She probably looked anything but.

She felt Vette, who was seated next to her, nudge her meaningfully with her knee.

Even Broonmark, next to Serenus, had stopped eating his repulsive purple goo and just stared at her curiously. Luckily he didn’t comment anything and carried on eating… whatever it was he was eating. Pierce and Quinn had already finished and were vehemently talking about the ship upgrade again. It was a small mercy.

Jaesa groaned inwardly as few pieces in her head clicked together.

Firstly, _of course_ , she just had to be _that_ Jedi who – from all the people in the known galaxy – would fall in love with a Sith Lord, no less; an occurrence complete with so many embarrassing tropes that the mere thought made her blush again. She had absolutely loved reading those stories when she was still a handmaiden on Alderaan – the one with Darth Revan and Bastila Shan she had read even multiple times. It wasn’t a shock in itself that she had taken interest in another woman; Jaesa had always considered herself bisexual, although she had been forced to shut off that part of herself during her Jedi training.

But there was something else, too, she realized. Why and for how long had they shared a Force Bond?

* * *

Jaesa’s personal project of finding other light leaning Sith with her Force Insight proved to be even more difficult and dangerous than she had originally thought. Sometimes her good intentions backfired altogether. At one point she was forced to kill a whole group of scared Sith who thought Jaesa was there to turn them over to the Empire rather than believe she shared their cause. She had felt so utterly devastated. Luckily Serenus was always there to encourage her. It helped Jaesa put things in a perspective and grow more resilient.

It required some effort, but Jaesa was careful to not let Serenus know she had romantic feelings for her. Some days it was more difficult, since they spent a lot of time together as Master and Apprentice. It was not all just lightsaber techniques and Force abilities; she was also learning how to speak and write ur-Kittât and familiarizing herself with Sith history and philosophies.

Sometimes, during some meditation practices, they had to be embarrassingly close to each other for long periods of time, but it was all the more motivating trying to get into the meditative mood rather sooner than later. The meditation practices were the only occassions during which Serenus clad herself in robes instead of her dark armor.

It was a little distracting in itself seeing her bare, strong arms, but once she accidentally happened to pay attention to a more confusing detail as well; one time that Serenus was retying the bandages she used to wear around her forearms with the robe outfit Jaesa noticed that there was a considerable amount of scar tissue around her Master’s wrists. The Sith Lord had scar and burn marks here and there which seemed logical, but there just weren’t that many explanations to vertical scarring in that specific area. It was clearly something Serenus wanted to hide, so she didn’t pry.

Jaesa was still grateful she could busy her mind with all the practicing, especially now that she knew about their Force Bond. She wasn’t sure if Serenus herself was aware of it, since she hadn’t even hinted at it in any way. Maybe she felt it stronger than her Master due to her special gift? In any case the matter could wait for now, for there had been a drastic development.

Some time ago Jaesa had tracked down and become familiar with one Overseer Emmoridg. He had been teaching handpicked Sith acolytes the ways of the light for quite some time. The discovery had made Jaesa ecstatic; she couldn’t help feeling a strong kinship and a need to protect the acolytes and the Overseer’s operations; this movement could be a crucial part of true reformation if allowed to grow and strengthen in all secrecy. Now the tide had turned though; a Sith Lord by the name of Cendence, known for hunting light side Sith, had entered the play.

Jaesa hadn’t wasted any time since hearing the news – instead she had worked twice as hard trying to scan the space with her mind and finally, by managing to reach out to the already captured Sith, she had been able to pin down Cendence’s location. The pain, desperation and humiliation she had felt through her unique gift had felt more like a curse then. But she had slowly changed from the timid, unexperienced Padawan she used to be, much of which she had Serenus to thank for. Jaesa’s tears had been quickly overcome by not just burning hatred, but also the clarity to efficiently channel it. Even if she wasn’t truly Sith, she wasn’t truly Jedi either - not anymore.

* * *

For once, Serenus appeared to have challenges keeping up her appearances. She looked calm and composed, but Jaesa could feel their Force Bond ripple in a way she hadn’t felt before. They had talked about the matter at hand in length, and they had both agreed this challenge was Jaesa’s alone. Their ship would stay docked at the nearest port for the time being.

“I can’t believe she lets you go there all by yourself”, Vette said angrily as she was walking Jaesa to the speeder rental.

“I’ve told you all over again, this is something I just have to do.”

“You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone.”

“I need to prove myself to me”, Jaesa said in a determined voice.

Vette sighed. “Maybe all that Sithy stuff is just finally getting to you.”

“Well, I am practically a Sith now. Just a nice one”, Jaesa pondered.

“Eat the cake and keep the cake, huh? Just… try not to get killed out there, okay? Otherwise I’m down to one nice Sith total.”

Jaesa smiled wistfully at the Twi’lek’s reference to Serenus. A part of her wondered if she ever got to see her again. Against her best hopes she could feel an ominous sense of finality as her personal mission was nearing its end.

They reached the speeder rental.

“One more thing, Vette. If… If I don’t come back… Serenus will know it”, Jaesa said then, placing her hands on Vette’s shoulders.

“I don’t unders-”

“And if that happens, I want you to tell her that I–”

“Don’t talk like that”, Vette interrupted her, voice shuddering, but a defiant look on her face. “You better come back and tell her yourself.”

Despite the situation Jaesa smiled wryly as she hopped on the speeder after hugging her friend.

“Don’t worry too much. It’s not as if I intend to get killed.”

* * *

“And now I’m going to kill you.”

Jaesa watched with glazed eyes as the last of Lord Cendence’s victims dropped on his knees, dead before the rest of his body hit the ground.

She was chained to a wall. After a long battle which had drained Jaesa he had injected her with a strange fluid that prevented her from restoring her strength and using offensive Force abilities. For the last two hours Cendence had made her watch as he slowly tortured the Sith heretics he had captured until they died in his hands.

The Sith Lord smiled cruelly as he got close enough Jaesa to touch her. He grabbed her by her jaw, slowly turning her head from side to side.

“Such a pretty little thing. Maybe I don’t kill you just yet.”

Jaesa looked back at him with an empty stare, appearing to not be mentally present.

“Nothing to say? Manka cat got your tongue?”

Suddenly Jaesa’s eyes flashed red and the whole room warped.

Lord Cendence backed several steps from the bound woman, mouth agape, looking around him in disbelief. Bright red Force Lightning was gathering at Jaesa’s fists and the cuffs around her wrists clinked open, also warped apart.

“How is this possible”, Cendence demanded, fear and confusion seeping from his voice.

As if in trance, Jaesa lifted her head to stare right through the Sith Lord. He turned to run away from the dungeon, but the Sith Apprentice extended her hands towards the retreating form and used the red Force Lightning to thoroughly electrocute him, an agonized scream the last sound to come out of Lord Cendence. She continued channeling the Force until there was nothing but a charred carcass left.

The red mist cleared from Jaesa’s eyes soon after. Totally spent she slumped onto the floor. Before she passed out she saw a tall dark form approaching her, stepping over the human remains on the doorway, red lightsaber drawn. Then her vision went black.

* * *

Jaesa felt her consciousness stir. She felt warm and safe, the ambient sound around her familiar. She felt slightly disoriented and tried to think why, searching her mind. She had had some breakfast. It wasn’t that good and Broonmark had volunteered to eat the leftovers. They had arrived to a distant port. Then she had been walking with Vette. Then…

She gasped and bolted into sitting position on the bed, her eyes now wide open. The tortured Sith. Lord Cendence. Being tied to a wall, powerless. Then an immense surge of energy.

She felt her heart racing, cold sweat on her skin. She pinched her arm. It hurt. She was awake. She was alive.

Jaesa looked around her carefully. She realized she wasn’t in her cabin. The light was dim and there appeared to be lots of equipment around her that had a dull metallic glint to it. What was all this stuff?

Suddenly the door opened and she shielded her eyes from the light for a moment. Then she realized. She was in Serenus’ room.

“M-master?”

“Jaesa.”

The way she said her name, the relief and affection she could hear in her voice…

Serenus quickly closed the distance between them, half throwing herself on the bed, pulling Jaesa into a tight but gentle embrace. Jaesa felt hot tears run down her cheeks. She really was alive, back in the ship and united with Serenus – whatever it meant. At this moment it meant everything.

She hugged the Sith Lord fiercely against her.

Then something unexpected happened. She could feel their Force Bond again, more responsive and alive than ever before. There was still something blocking a part of it, but it was definitely there, flowing between them. It was hard to discern anymore which of the emotions were hers and which her Master’s. She felt… happiness. Come to think of it, she didn’t even remember the last time she had.


	3. Solace

Soon after waking up Jaesa had returned to her own cabin, assuring Serenus she was mostly just fatigued and needed some rest, nourishment and a long shower.

After making sure Jaesa had everything she needed Serenus had busied herself with work. First in order there was a long strategic meeting with Quinn after having received new orders from Darth Baras, who was now a member of the Dark Council and The Emperor’s Voice. Something about endangered Imperial mining operations on Quesh. She had wondered why Baras would want to send her there exactly, but it didn’t matter. She’d play nice for the time being.

Broonmark approached her as soon as she had finished with Quinn. He had some questions about requisitioning new blaster rifles and some black market mods for them; he also wanted to know if there were pink crystals for lightsabers, who knew why.

Lieutenant Pierce wanted to have a chat with her as well, but at this point Serenus had problems concentrating anymore, so she had just approved whatever it was again he wanted to do with his old Black Ops team.

Serenus realized she had skipped a meal which wasn’t like her at all, so she prepared some rations in the mess hall.

She was half-way finished with her food when she saw Vette approach.

“What are you doing here”, the Twi’lek asked, as if Serenus was being expected somewhere else.

“What does it look like I’m doing”, Serenus asked, one eyebrow raised and mouth full of food. “I’ve had nothing but meetings all day, I have to eat at some point.”

“You have got to be kidding me”, Vette said, grabbing the Sith by the hand and half dragging her behind her.

“But I haven’t finished my food yet!”

“It’s not food, it’s military rations.”

“Where are you taking me?”

Vette didn’t even bother to answer her. She dragged the Sith to the door leading into Jaesa’s room.

“Wait, what, I can’t just barge in; what if she’s just changing or-”

“I bet she wouldn’t mind even if she was standing there stark naked, now get in and talk with her”, Vette said, opened the door and pushed Serenus in.

***

Much to Serenus’ relief Jaesa was there with her clothes on as she stumbled inside.

“Master. I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Well, this is kind of a surprise visit for me too.”

Jaesa had a confused look on her face.

“Okay, Vette shoved me in here.”

“Oh. I see”, her Apprentice then said, and Serenus was sure she could hear disappointment in her voice.

“I mean…” The Sith sighed. “Let’s start over. The truth is… I’m nervous.”

“Nervous?”

“Yes.”

Serenus composed her thoughts for a moment.

“To be honest, I was worried sick when you left after Cendence. I knew you’re powerful and able, but so was he. So many things could have gone wrong and… I didn’t really know what I’d do if you never came back. If he hurt you, or… How could I forgive myself? At the same time I knew you needed to do this, so it left me in a difficult situation.

“After you had left the ship, I went to my cabin to meditate; if only to keep myself from going after you. Curiosity still got the better of me, and I tried to trace you. It surprised me at first how easily I connected to you, but then I realized it was that same energy I had felt ever since I met you. Now the channel was just… open.”

“I had been wondering if you could feel it at all”, Jaesa confessed.

“So you knew?”

“I have known for some time now, yes, but I didn’t really know how to ask you about it. It just felt so… intimate. There are so many blocked areas.”

“You excel at revealing the intentions of others, I’m a master at concealing mine”, Serenus said. “There are several reasons.”

“The Bond must be the reason I woke up in the ship.”

“Yes. I got some confusing feedback through the Force Bond and I decided to go after you anyway, if only to cut Cendence down myself if something went wrong. I told the others you had left coordinates for me in case something happened. We were just searching for the entrance to that sick bastard’s lair when I felt a massive eruption in the force. I arrived on the scene just as you were channeling that Force Lightning, and I could only watch in awe. What you did back there, that was quite the feat, Jaesa. I am so proud of you”, Serenus said, smiling.

Jaesa smiled as well.

“I have you to thank, for teaching me. It was my Jedi training that sustained me, but it was the Sith training that gave me the power to save myself. But… I couldn’t save the others there. And it wasn’t exactly my intention to tear down the whole room. I still have much to learn. And what I did to Cendence… was unnecessary. I think I couldn’t have brought myself to do that without the Battle Trance, not even to him. I can still taste the smoke of his burnt flesh on my tongue.”

“Believe me, that was the easy way out for him”, Serenus said in a low, dangerous voice, eyes narrowing. “I would have made him beg for his own death if anything had happened to you.”

“You… you said you were nervous when you came here”, Jaesa carefully ventured, biting her lip. “I was just wondering… why is that?”

“Oh, that.” Serenus berated herself in her mind. Why did she have to say that?

The Sith made the mistake of looking her Apprentice in the eye. The stare was so intent she couldn’t tear free anymore. The air between them felt thick, as Jaesa stepped into the Sith’s personal space.

Yellow eyes bore into warm brown ones.

“Jaesa, what are you doing?”

“I…”

The younger woman took the Sith Warrior’s hands gently in her own, carefully rubbing small circles on the scarred skin.

“Jedi bury their emotions. Sith act on them as they please. I can never be truly either anymore and I don’t want to be. You’ve shown me there’s a path in between. I’d like to… walk that path. With you.”

Serenus felt her throat become dry. The warmth in Jaesa’s eyes spread throughout her.

“Jaesa…”

Their hands moved to rest on each other’s hips. Serenus felt her eyes close as Jaesa leant closer, already anticipating contact.

Then she felt a wave of nausea washing over her.

“N-no…”

Jaesa opened her eyes in confusion. “No?”

Suddenly Serenus lashed out, Force Pushing her Apprentice away from her. Jaesa didn’t have time to react at all as she hit the back wall, collapsing with a pained grunt.

Serenus stared at her for a moment, shocked at what had just happened.

“Oh no, Jaesa! I’m so sorry, I–”

She was by Jaesa’s side in an instant, scooping her up in her strong arms.

“Are you alright? I swear I didn’t mean to hurt you, please forgive me!”

Serenus laid Jaesa on her bed.

“I’ll go get some-”

“No, wait”, Jaesa groaned, grabbing the Sith by the arm before she could dash off, “I think I’m fine, I’ll just be a bit sore tomorrow. I have to admit, I didn’t see that coming. I’m sorry, I-”

“No, Jaesa, _I’m_ sorry, so terribly sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just…”

Suddenly her vision blurred and she cursed herself inwardly.

“Serenus, please sit down”, Jaesa said, concern in her voice, patting the bed. “I might not know much about… anything, and I probably still wouldn’t, not without the Force Bond. But…”

The Sith, now sitting near her Apprentice on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor, nodded.

“I know. And I first felt the Bond already when you sent me the holo recording, but it just took me so long to make sense of it all. I thought I was just imagining something that wasn’t really there.”

“I sense… a lot of your feelings without even reaching out for you. But there’s also something deeply guarded there that’s detrimental to you. Whatever it is–”

“I raped a girl”, Serenus said in a clear, clipped voice.

Deafening silence landed inside the room.

The Sith sighed. No turning back now.

“She… she was a prisoner, left for me to handle. A young Jedi, but helpless against me. First I Force Persuaded her to have sex with me. Then I choked her to death. I’ll… spare you the details. For months after that I felt perfectly fine. I had felt light in me when I was little and it scared me. Growing up I did everything to snuff it out, to be a proper Sith. I was so proud of myself after destroying the Jedi girl, I even bragged about the things I had done to her. Then I started seeing dreams about her. They haunted me. In the end I couldn’t take it anymore. It was her Force Ghost that visited me in the very last dream I saw about her. I… I tried to kill myself, but… after all I had done, she _saved_ me.”

Serenus squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, tears rolling down her face.

“She fucking saved me after all I had done to her, can you believe? She gave me a choice, and I chose to take it. That’s why I’m here. And that’s why I can’t…”

Serenus felt Jaesa’s hand wrap around one of hers, squeezing gently.

The Sith let out a shuddering breath, closing her eyes.

“How can you even touch me?”

“Serenus, please. Listen to me. I’m not saying what you did was nothing short of monstrous, but… it didn’t make you a monster in the end. If you could ask that Jedi now, I bet she’d be grateful her death wasn’t just a random act of violence swept under a rug in some Sith dungeon – that it was instead a catalyst for something greater she might not have been able to put in motion in life no matter how long she had lived fighting for a better world. There’s a great power inside of you. I’m sure there was a reason for your paths crossing.”

Serenus shifted her position so that she could look Jaesa in the eye. There were a few wet streaks along her cheeks, but the storm in her amber eyes had calmed down.

“I’d say that you’re telling me that just to make me feel better, but… I guess the Bond doesn’t really lie.”

“Yes, the Force seems to be flowing more freely through it now. Your willpower must be enormous to be able to block something like that. Even my gift couldn’t reach beyond that mental barricade back when we met. In fact, I didn’t even sense the barricade at all.”

“In a way I’m glad you didn’t. I doubt we’d be at this point now.”

Despite the situation Jaesa smiled a little, squeezing the Sith’s hand gently.

“This point being us two, on my bed?”

Serenus was a bit stunned.

“Look at me.”

The Sith fixed her golden eyes on Jaesa again.

“I think it’s time you let go of the past, not let it poison you anymore. You’ve already redeemed yourself by accepting who you really are, accepting the dangerous path you’re on now… accepting the gift of life. I doubt that Jedi wanted you to bury your hopes and wishes just because you had been born into a certain society, being raised in a certain way. I guess what I’m trying to say is… I have been worried about you, and… I care about you, and… you deserve some happiness too.”

Serenus bit her lip, shifting her eyes away from Jaesa’s.

“Serenus?”

“Yes?”

“C-could you… kiss me?”

Serenus felt her heart skip a beat. She looked the adorable, blushing woman in the eye, and she could feel their Force Bond practically humming, as if it was magnetically pulling them to each other.

She bent over the young woman, half leaning over her, half sitting on the edge of the bed. She placed her free hand on Jaesa’s cheek, caressing it gently. After looking at each other for what felt like forever, the Sith finally closed the distance between them, bringing their lips together in a soft kiss.

At some point Serenus realized her whole body had ended up on the bed. It felt as if every nerve in her body was on fire as they kept kissing each other. She had imagined this more often than she probably should have, but it was so much better in reality.

Jaesa grew more confident each passing second and didn’t seem to mind the full body armour against her. Serenus was still careful where she touched her – above all she wanted Jaesa to feel safe with her. Apparently the younger woman noticed this, because the Sith suddenly felt an interesting shift in their Force Bond.

Jaesa laughed a little.

“If someone had told me my first kiss would be with a Sith who’s afraid of breaking me…”

“I _did_ throw you to a wall”, Serenus reminded, “which I’m still sorry about.”

“That’s true. Maybe…”, Jaesa started to blush, “maybe you should check if there are any bruises that need attention? Just in case?”

Serenus raised one eyebrow in surprise as she felt a very specific kind of pulse through their Bond.

“You want me to… Are you sure?”

The question was rather unnecessary at this point, but she felt better asking anyway.

The blush on Jaesa’s face grew a shade darker.

“I… would you… I’d…”

Serenus gave her Apprentice a little lopsided grin and mercifully cut her off with a kiss. Merely feeling the other woman welcome her touch so eagerly, practically melting against her; it was like a gentle, cleansing wave washing over her dark past. Eventually the Sith decided to move a bit lower; first kissing, then gently biting Jaesa’s neck, enjoying all the little moans and gasps she was drawing from the woman under her.

“Let me remove these”, Serenus then offered, voice a little shaky, and started to undress her Apprentice. Jaesa appeared to be equal amounts of shy and excited as she helped the Sith slowly remove her clothes, the two of them sharing kisses every now and then during the process. As the warrior placed the last piece of Jaesa’s clothing to the side, she took some time to admire the woman before her.

“You are very beautiful.” She considered something for a moment. “I would be your first?”

“Yes. And before you can convince yourself otherwise, I want you to be. But I have this… request, if I may.”

“Anything you wish”, Serenus replied without hesitation.

Jaesa blushed furiously again. “It’s not that I wouldn’t very much want to see what’s beneath all that armor, but…”

Serenus grinned a little.

“You want me to make love to you with my armor on?”

Jaesa looked embarrassed but nodded.

“Anything else I should know?”

“Um… since you asked… is it weird that I find the way you eat… somewhat… erotic? _Master_.”

Serenus laughed, surprised at the sudden confession.

“Wow. You know, I have been wondering why everything I’ve eaten in the mess hall has been tasting extra good and satisfying lately, but I guess that explains it. Oh my, I really don’t deserve you!”

Still smiling, Serenus crawled carefully over Jaesa’s naked form, the contact of the cold, plated armor against bare skin making her Apprentice gasp a little.

The Sith kissed Jaesa one more time and looked deep into her warm, brown eyes.

“Remember… If at any point you want me to stop, just say the word and I will.”

“Yes, Master”, Jaesa said in a low voice.

“Y-you don’t need to call me Master, Jaesa”, Serenus said.

“But you like it if I do?”

Serenus swallowed. No point trying to conceal her emotions, since they flowed so freely between them anyway.

“Yes, I do.”

Taking her time, Serenus started to explore her Apprentice’s tanned body.

“Oh… that feels so good”, Jaesa sighed in a blissful voice as Serenus was lovingly touching her breasts with her mouth and free hand.

“I’m happy to hear that”, the Sith said. Eventually she went lower, kissing Jaesa’s toned stomach. She could feel her tense as she passed her navel. There was enough muscle definition for her to see her Apprentice’s abs ripple from the touch.

“You are so sleek and fit, I envy this sexy body of yours. Although it more than makes up for it if I’m allowed to at least touch all this. You have no idea how often I have had to tear my eyes off your midriff, with that outfit you usually wear. I have got to admit though, I wish I could take as good care of myself as you do. It’s a struggle, even with all the training. I really should quit sweets.”

She felt Jaesa relax a little.

“Thank you for the compliment, but you are perfect just as you are.”

Serenus couldn’t help grinning at the endearing comment. Coming from Jaesa it sounded so pure and genuine. “That’s such a nice thing to say. Really warms my cold Sith heart.”

A pause. Jaesa tensed again as Serenus gave a few more kisses on her flexed abs.

“I suggest you grab a few more pillows to support your head, so you’ll have a better view.”

Jaesa looked curious but did as Serenus asked.

“Okay. A view? What do you have in mind?”

“I just thought, since you said you like to watch me eat”, Serenus quipped, enjoying the blush on Jaesa’s face as she settled between her thighs.

“Last chance to back out.”

“Master, please”, Jaesa breathed.

Serenus smiled and started gently by kissing her Apprentice’s inner thighs. Jaesa whimpered at the first contact and instinctively lifted her hips slightly. The Sith eventually switched to the other thigh, and Jaesa spread them further apart.

The Sith could smell the arousal and it was making her head swim. Without any further warning she wrapped her hands around Jaesa’s thighs and went down on her. Her Apprentice answered with a strangled gasp that quickly turned into a somewhat licentious moan.

All of the Sith’s relationships had been very casual ones apart from the Jedi incident that had changed her life forever all those years ago. Her first one-night stand had been with a man, after which she had realized she wasn’t interested in men at all. Then there had been a few slaves and several Sith women of different ages and positions she had had short relationships with. Now she was here, after all her crazy adventures followed by years of celibacy, pleasuring a Jedi she was madly in love with.

Another thing she could finally confess.

Her sexual encounters before Jaesa had all revolved around humiliation, exploitation and physical or psychical dominance; sometimes Serenus had been on the receiving end, sometimes she had been the perpetrator. There were never any real feelings besides lust. Never again.

The Sith’s hands urged Jaesa’s thighs to move a bit further apart as she was sucking, nibbling and licking the Jedi lovingly to her heart’s content.

“Ohhh, that… _nggh_ … that feels so good”, Jaesa managed to say, bringing one of her hands to caress the back of her Master’s head, the other one tightly gripping the sheets.

Serenus took that as encouragement to proceed further and pushed her tongue inside the source of the slick heat. She just loved the new, pleasantly surprised sound she elicited from the woman.

“Master, please don’t stop”, Jaesa uttered after a while. “I think… _ahh_ …”

Gently but firmly the Sith pushed her Apprentice’s thighs a bit more apart to gain as much access for her tongue as possible. Any amount of jaw ache would be worth having Jaesa come against her mouth.

She watched the woman squirm, her abs flexing and a sheen of sweat on her tanned skin as she kept pushing her hips against the Sith. One of Jaesa’s hands was still at the back of Serenus’ head, encouraging her to go harder. The bucking became a bit more erratic, the moans deeper and longer. Their Force Bond was practically pulsing and the Sith loved every second of it all.

Serenus worked tirelessly with her tongue until the muscle contractions of her lover’s nearing orgasm made it impossible. Without missing a beat she slipped her fingers inside instead, curling them slightly and thrusting hard.

Within seconds Jaesa’s release crashed over them like a tidal wave.

Serenus waited for the most intense aftershocks to pass until she laid her head on Jaesa’s sleek, muscular thigh and looped the arm she wasn’t lying on around the other tanned thigh. She closed her eyes, unable to stop smiling. Her Apprentice’s hand was now lazily petting her, smoothing her hair.

“Oh wow”, Jaesa breathed unevenly after collecting herself for a while. “That was… amazing.”

Serenus grinned a little, turning her head a bit to look Jaesa in the eye. “No. _You_ are amazing, Jaesa.”

Jaesa gave her a fond smile. “You silly Sith. I think it’s time to get you out of that armor. I… I’d like to learn about all the things you like.”

The blush adorning her tanned skin looked so adorable.

In a way Serenus still felt like she didn’t deserve any of this. That she would spoil all the good in Jaesa despite her good intentions. That it was her destiny to be alone. Then again, this was the first time in her life she had something else than her ideals to fight for.

_Love conquers all_ , someone had once said.

She was ready for the challenge.


End file.
